okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
