Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
