I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
