My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
