Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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