Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
