can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
MIDGETS
????
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
