Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
