whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
