you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
