I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
