I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
