You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
