I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
