We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
