I am spending my child support on dildos
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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