so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
