my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
where does the pee come out of this thing
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
