Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
