a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
