I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
