Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
