Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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