don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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