All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
