I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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