Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
