girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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