i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
