I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
