Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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