Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
