Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize