I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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