just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
