...so i touched it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
