Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
