i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize