I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
