he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
