i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
