i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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