Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
