So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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