Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
