how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize