just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
