I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
