We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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