He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
