his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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