hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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