I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
