I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
