What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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