is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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