When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
