no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
